Overwhelmed? Find Peace Within & Calm Your Nervous System

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You've been praised your whole life

for being the responsible one, the

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achiever, the go-getter, the strong one.

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The one who never drops the ball.

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And yes.

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That may have gotten you success but it

also taught you a very dangerous lie.

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And that lie is that your value

only exists in what you do.

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That is not true.

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CH Podcast Intro Video 4k: Welcome

to the Core Happiness Podcast.

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I'm your host, Casey Banks, a mindset

and positive psychology coach.

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On this podcast, we discuss all

things related to creating happiness

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from within, so let's do it.

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welcome back to the

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Core Happiness Podcast.

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Tell me if this sounds familiar to you.

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You check the boxes, you crush the list.

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You are constantly getting things done.

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You are on top of stuff, but

still you feel unfulfilled.

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Does that sound familiar?

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And why?

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Why do we feel unfulfilled?

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Because somewhere along the way you are

taught that productivity equals worth.

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But here's the truth.

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Being productive is not the

same as being purposeful.

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And today I wanna talk about the real

difference between the two and why

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it matters now more than ever, right?

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You weren't born believing that

your value came from output.

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You.

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We weren't born that way, but

somewhere along the way, usually in

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our childhood, some, whether it was

a teacher or parent or neighbor,

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babysitter, someone praised your

performance, they ignored your presence.

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And they gave you value and

recognition and accolades and thought

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your accomplishments were based

on something that you do, right?

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and so we started proving.

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We started overachieving.

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We started perfecting, producing,

hoping that finally, eventually

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it would feel like enough.

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But instead of peace, all we feel

is pressure instead of clarity,

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we are constantly feeling like

we are confused, like we're lost.

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And instead of fulfillment,

we just feel tired.

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Right?

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We're fatigued.

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So let me be honest with you,

and I hope you hear me when I say

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it's not that you're unmotivated,

it's not that you're disconnected.

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It's not that you are not ambitious,

because if anything, it's really that

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your ambition doesn't align with you.

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You're just out of alignment, Here's

what I see so many of my coaching

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clients go through, and this is

what I wanna share with you today.

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Being productive is not the same.

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As being purposeful.

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And I'm gonna keep saying that.

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Why?

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Because productivity is a tool.

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It's not your identity.

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It's okay to get things done.

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I'm not saying don't get things done.

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It's okay to get things done,

but you're not a machine.

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And I think it's important that we pause

and ask ourselves like, is this serving my

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soul or is it just serving my self image?

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And a lot of times we are busy.

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To make it feel like a

sense of purpose too, right?

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If I'm, if I'm busy, if I'm being

productive, then I'm not lazy.

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I'm, I'm providing value in some way.

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But busyness is not a buffer.

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When we stay motion, to avoid

emotion, that's a problem, so slowing

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down actually allows us to feel.

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And yes, that could be scary, especially

if you've been taught to avoid your

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truth, but it's so necessary, purpose

lives in the why not the what.

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You can do a hundred things

a day and still feel empty.

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But if you did one, aligned yes, that

fulfills your why, your values, you can.

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filling our entire body with peace.

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Just one aligned.

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Yes.

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So here's the deep shift that I talk

to with my clients, and I hope you

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hear not just intellectually, but

I hope this hits you in your bones.

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Okay.

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You've been praised your whole life

for being the responsible one, the

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achiever, the go-getter, the strong one.

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The one who never drops the ball.

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And yes.

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That may have gotten you success

and rightfully so, but it also

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taught you a very dangerous lie.

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And that lie is that your value

only exists in what you do.

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That is not true.

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Here's what no one actually told you.

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You don't need to constantly

improve to be worthy of rest.

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You don't have to constantly

achieve to be worthy of love.

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You are already enough as you are, even

when you are still, even when you are

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resting, even when you are not doing.

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' cause you don't have

to prove you yourself.

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You're already proof.

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I'm gonna ask this question.

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Who are you when you stop performing?

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Who are you?

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If you are not performing, if you're

not pleasing, if you are not providing,

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if you're not doing, who are you?

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And if that question makes you squirm

a little bit, if it makes you panic,

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then you found your work, because

real purpose is not about performance.

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It's in your presence.

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It's simply being you and being present.

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Your soul does not care about metrics.

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And what you accomplish, it cares

about alignment, it cares about

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meaning, it cares about peace.

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So instead of waking up and asking,

what do I need to get done today?

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What if the question was, what

would feel most aligned today?

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Instead of go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

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What if we pause long enough to

ask, what am I building and why?

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What's my why?

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and that may be the most important

part, because if the life you're

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creating doesn't feel like yours,

who are you creating it for?

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This isn't about quitting everything.

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It's not about stopping everything,

putting everything down, but it is

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about remembering the you that existed

before you were defined by productivity

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or doing because that woman that

existed before, she's still here.

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She's just waiting for you to

get quiet enough and still enough

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for her to come home to you.

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So here's what I wanna do today.

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Try to write down the three top things

that you do every single day, your

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default tasks, and just three of them.

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And then ask yourself, are these

aligned with who I want to become?

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Or are they habits that I've kept

to just prove that I'm worthy?

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After you've answered those questions,

cross one off the list and replace

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it with something that reconnects you

with your values, not your performance.

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What's the one thing you're letting

go of to reconnect with your purpose?

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So whenever you are facing overwhelmed,

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just remember it's not because you're

weak or you're unmotivated or you're

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lazy, you're not disciplined enough.

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It's none of that.

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It's simply because you have been

carrying too much for far too long

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and with a little room to breathe.

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And that my friend, is not

a time management problem.

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That is a nervous system problem.

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So let's talk a little bit about

the nervous system and what's really

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going on and how we can reset it.

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Okay?

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Because.

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It's not overwhelming isn't about having

too much to do, it's about how your

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mind and body have learned to survive

under a constant state of pressure.

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Your default has become racing thoughts,

a to-do list that multiplies the

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moment you sit down, um, tightness

in your chest, like all that stress.

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That doesn't mean that you're broken.

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It means that you are operating

in a survival mode, and most women

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have not been taught to listen to

what the overwhelm is trying to say.

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When we feel overwhelmed, I think

our body's communicating to us,

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but we don't really stop to listen

to what it's trying to say, right?

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Instead, we blame ourselves.

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We think.

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I really need to get my stuff together.

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I really need to be more efficient.

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I need to be grateful.

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I need to be disciplined.

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But here's the truth.

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You don't need to try harder.

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You just need to feel safer,

Let's break this down into

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three core insights to help.

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Really understand what's going on

inside, number one is that overwhelm

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is simply unprocessed emotion.

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Think about it, that's not a time issue.

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yes, you may be managing some tasks,

sure, but you're also managing emotions,

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decisions, expectations, disappointments

that never had a place to land.

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And if you have unprocessed emotions,

your nervous system is running the show.

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Okay?

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If you are always in fight, flight,

or freeze, there's not a planner

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in the world that can fix that.

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What you need is regulation.

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Before you can create clarity,

You need to reset, you need to

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rebalance that nervous system.

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You don't need a new routine.

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And look, it's not this huge, crazy

thing to do whenever you're feeling

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overwhelmed, you simply have to

regulate, reframe, and redirect.

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What does that mean?

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It means regulate is to

just breathe slow and deep.

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Inhale for four.

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Exhale for six.

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We talk about breath work a lot on

this podcast, and that's why it helps

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to regulate your nervous system.

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And then you can reframe whatever

thoughts are going on right now.

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A lot of times when we are

overwhelmed, when we're anxious,

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we're thinking about the future.

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We're thinking about things

that haven't even happened yet

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and we're stressed about it.

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So reframe what is going on

right now in the present.

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What's true right now?

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That's all you have to ask yourself.

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Not what you fear, not what you're

scared of, not what could happen.

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And I'm so nervous.

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What's real right now?

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What's real?

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That's all you have to ask

yourself and then redirect.

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And that simply means ask yourself what

is the next micro step that feels safe?

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That is how your nervous system

meets your soul, honor and clarity.

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That's how you can start to

feel safe within yourself.

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Here's what I want you to

know, and this might make you

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feel a little uncomfortable.

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You're not lazy, you're not too

emotional, and if anyone said you're

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too much, you're not too much.

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Okay, you're not, you are a human being

with a fully functional nervous system,

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one that has been functioning inside

a culture of emotional suppression.

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You are taught that laziness is the

same as rest, that boundaries are

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selfish, that slowing down means failing

or falling behind, and so naturally.

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Our bodies have learned to stay

in this tense, alert state.

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We've learned to stay in motion, and

that overwhelm that you feel is not

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a sign that you're falling apart.

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It's a sign that your nervous system

is waving a flag, it's waving the

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white flag of surrender saying,

I, I can't keep living like this.

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I need a break.

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Because we were not supposed to

stay in fight, flight, or freeze.

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So you don't need more discipline.

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You just simply need more grace.

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And here's a reframe that I think

changes everything, If you think

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about it, clarity isn't just mental.

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It's physiological.

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You can't think your way to peace if your

body is locked in a panicked state, But

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you can create safety within yourself.

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One breath, one moment at a

time, one boundary at a time.

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And the goal here is

to make you feel safe.

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So when you're feeling overwhelmed,

stop asking What's wrong with me?

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'cause we all do it right?

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And instead ask, what does my

body need to feel safe again?

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That's a shift.

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What do I need to feel safe Again,

that will take you from the mindset

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of performance to being present.

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It takes you from the mindset

of guilt to feeling grounded.

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It takes you from panic to peace.

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So the next time that you feel

overwhelmed, place one hand on

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your heart or on your belly.

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Whichever works for you.

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And then just say out

loud, I'm not in danger.

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I am allowed to pause.

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and then ask yourself, what is the next

gentlest step I can take right now?

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That's how you reclaim safety

within yourself and that feeling

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safe helps you reclaim your power.

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So.

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Don't push harder.

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Don't add more to your plate.

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Don't put so much guilt on yourself.

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Instead, start by creating a

calm, safe space within you

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Just remember you reclaim your

power, not by pushing harder,

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but by creating calm inside.

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And we too often look for the external

to feel safe, to feel grounded.

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We look for something outside

of ourselves when really we just

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need to feel it within ourselves.

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so.

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Allow that woman that's deep

inside you, the one you may

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still feel disconnected from.

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Know that she's still there.

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She's still waiting.

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She's just waiting to feel

safe, not so overwhelmed.

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Not so worried, and then she

can come back home to you.

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Until next time, find

that peace within you.

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I thank you for joining me today.

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If you enjoyed this podcast, please

feel free to rate it or leave a review.

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If you have any thoughts or questions,

I would love to hear from you.

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You can email podcast core happiness.com.

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For show notes and additional resources.

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You can visit www.corehappiness.com.

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as always, please remember, never

let anyone diminish your light.

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Until next time, sending you my love.